10 Signs of Gaslighting, Part III

10 Signs of Gaslighting, Part III

My last post ("Bringing Gaslighting to Light, Part II") discussed why gaslighters gaslight, and the contextual factors that can lead to gaslighting. In this post, the focus shifts to the gaslightees.

Gaslighting is defined as a form of manipulation (on the mild end), emotional abuse, or even psychological warfare (on the extreme end) that results in the slow dismantling of a gaslightee’s self-trust. What makes someone vulnerable to experiencing gaslighting, and what are the warning signs of gaslighting?

Three main needs that set the stage for gaslighting. In no particular order, these include:

Our need to be liked.
Our need to be loved.
Our need to be understood.
These needs are part of being human, and are hardwired into most of us. The bright side of these needs is that they motivate us to form close and loving connections with other human beings, which is healthy. The dark side is that these needs, when combined with certain tendencies, make people vulnerable to gaslighting. Among these tendencies are:

Self-doubting tendencies.
People-pleasing tendencies.
Conflict-avoidant tendencies.
Do any of these sound like you? If so, you may need to pay attention to the possible presence of gaslighting in your relationships. Gaslighting is more likely to occur when people enter into relationships that contain a substantial situational or relational power differential, such as when one person is especially vulnerable due to losing a job, or suffers “fear of abandonment” issues due to a previous loss or trauma. Keep in mind that it is not the need to be loved, liked, or understood that is the problem; it’s the combination of these needs with specific tendencies and habits that makes individuals susceptible to gaslighting.

Here are the 10 signs to watch for that might indicate you are being gaslighted: Continue Reading

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