Adoption and common myths

Adoption - Anthony-Gooden Inc.
Adoption - Anthony-Gooden Inc.

What are the first thoughts that enter your mind when you think about adoption? Do you think that a parent who gives up their child for adoption is throwing their child away? Are you under the impression that only rich, married couples are allowed to adopt? Or perhaps you are of the opinion that an adopted child is much harder to raise than a biological child? These are just a few of the many misconceptions that people believe about adoption. Below, we address some of the most common adoption myths in the hope that it will let you view adoption in a new, positive light…
1.    Adoption is an act of love. It is not taking someone else’s child or giving away your own child. It can be a loving option when you are facing a crisis pregnancy and you have very little or no support. Adoption is a difficult and selfless decision and should be lovingly made with the best interests of the child in mind.
2.    .Adoptions are seldom considered failures.  According to research most adoptions do not disrupt the child’s life in a negative way. For many reasons, adoptions are considered more successful than foster care.
3.    Few adopted children display behavioural problems. In fact research has shown that because adoptive families are more open to seeking external support during difficult times, they are less prone to develop serious individual or family disfunctionalities.
4.    We do not need perfect families to adopt. In fact families, who have experienced problems and have handled them successfully are usually better adoptive resources. Positive outcomes for adoptive families and children depend on good, solid and insightful preparation and education of adoptive parents. Such resources are available to adoptive families throughout their lives.
5.    Any child can be considered adoptable. Adoptability is determined by those social workers closest to the child and birth mother, and is based on a variety of factors.
6.    Effective parenting is not dependant on ones marital status, religious affiliation or financial status. The most important aspect in adoption is the prospective adoptive parent’s commitment to parenting. Ideal adoptive families have sufficient financial means to respond to their child’s basic needs.
7.    Working parents can make good adoptive parents.
8.    Children can be successfully adopted by families of different races and ethnicities.
9.    Adoptions in the past focused on finding babies for infertile couples. Today the focus is on finding families for waiting children. The focus has moved from “investigating suitability” to “education and preparation of adoptive parents”.
10.    Adoption is not a result of a forced intervention by external parties. It is a proactive action by a birth family or social worker. The terms of the adoption are negotiated with the birthmother and father as key decision makers allowing them to  be involved in the matching and selection process of the adoptive parent(s) if they so choose and  to receive information about their child’s adjustment with the adoptive family.
11.    The Adoption screening and preparation process that adoptive applicants go through is very important. This can be time consuming, but is crucial for the success of the adoption.

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